My two besties are leaving me out, and now I feel like a third wheel. Help! 

It’s human nature, says our elder. Seek out other friends and try not to let it get to you.

 

Dear EWC

I have three besties. We’re a trio. I’m really happy with them and all and it sounds perfect. But lately I seem to be having bad mood swings and I bash out one of them easily. I’m not the kind that shows affection easily but she misunderstood it as if I don’t like her anymore. So now my two other besties are closer to each other than me. I feel like I’m just a third wheeler, I’m their go-between, second option and they only talk to me if they are not talking to each other at the moment. I don’t feel really included. Kind of invisible.

 

Mrs. G replies

The biggest problem you are having, my dear, is that you and your friends are a trio. There is an old saying that goes, “Two is company, three is a crowd”. I will explain further.

Whenever there is a group of three people, two of them will become closer. It’s very, very difficult for all three people to be close equally. Think about it, if you got a tiny bit closer to one of your friends, wouldn’t the other one feel left out? You said yourself they only talk to you if they are having a problem with each other so you and that other one is closer for the moment, aren’t you? There’s just no way to get around this problem unless you have a fourth person join your group.

I think really all you can do is maybe tell that one girl you are sorry again for bashing on her if that is what you did. Then, just go along with the group and try not to feel left out of the conversations. If you are left out, just say to yourself, “Oh well,” and then maybe begin seeking out some other friends. In other words, try to not let it bother you a lot because it’s pretty much a natural thing of how people get along.

I hope I’ve explained myself well enough to you and that you feel a little better. It’s just human 

Article #: 486765
Category: Friendship