I talk to myself a lot, and I find it hard to socialize. 

There’s nothing wrong with talking to yourself, says our elder. But it’s good to reach out and talk to other people too.

Dear EWC

I talk to myself a lot. Almost all of the time. It is like a habit. And strangely, I feel like there is someone that will reply to me. I even have some conversations with myself. Like, literally a conversation – about homework, about food, etc. Well, not always a conversation. Sometimes I talk to myself just to say what is on my mind, like opinions. And of course, people think it is weird and abnormal. Some people that saw me talking to myself always said that I look like a crazy person, and it is scary. But my psychologist said it is perhaps because of my loneliness. People said I must find some friends, but I’m scared of communicating and socializing. I don’t think it is weird to talk to myself though. Hearing about what people said about this habit is kind of uncomfortable. But my habit will make people feel uncomfortable too. In your opinion, what should I do? Thank you for reading, have a good day:)

Barbara replies

There is nothing wrong with talking to yourself. During the isolation because of Covid, I find myself having really useful conversations with myself. That being said, I do it because I don’t see friends, but it is much better to also learn to open up to other people. I was depressed and didn’t want others to know that, so I seldom opened up to them. One evening when my son called, I was honest and it really helped me. 

Have you explored why you find it so hard to talk to other people? When I was younger, I was shy and needed to feel like I had permission to speak before I said anything. I gave myself an assignment to speak to a stranger each day. In the elevator at work, I made myself make a comment on the weather. I was surprised at how many people responded eagerly. Everyone finds it a little intimidating to talk to others. If you remember that, you might find it easier to overcome your fear. I have heard from friends that they feel like I don’t really like them because I usually wait for others to call me, not feeling entitled to interfere with their lives. You may be advertising that you don’t want any friends and only want to talk to yourself. 

Are there any clubs or activities you can join? It is easier to start a conversation if you share an experience with another. Start small. You don’t have to share your deepest secrets in a conversation. Try talking about the weather or something trivial. Steer away from controversial topics like religion and politics. If you share your deepest thoughts or secrets, you might feel crushed if someone doesn’t respond correctly. But if you mention how cold it’s been and they disagree, it won’t be a big deal.

So, to sum up, it’s fine to talk to yourself. And if you hear an answer, listen to it. But you are lonely and need to learn how to relate to other people. I’m glad you have a therapist to help you. Just remember that most people are a little shy. They are often grateful if someone else starts a conversation. That might make it less scary to talk to others. 

Article #: 484360
Category: Other