“A lot of drama happened in school, a friend circle of mine cut off with me because of my relationship with him. His image isn’t that good in terms of girls/relationships in school but i still dated him because he reassured me a lot of things and i got convinced.”
Our Elder says: “If it feels to awkward to speak in person; perhaps you would be open to putting your feelings and thoughts into words, and sharing what you wrote with the friend/friends you care most about. All you can do is try, and see how the other person responds.”
Dear EWC,
HEY! Sooo, recently like a month ago i had thrown a house party where i kinda had a scene with the head boy of my school. we made out and flirted that night and next morning we came in relationship. He was just too convincing and i guess i also kinda wanted to experience it.
So, i came in relationship with him. A lot of drama happened in school, a friend circle of mine cut off with me because of my relationship with him. His image isn’t that good in terms of girls/relationships in school but i still dated him because he reassured me a lot of things and i got convinced. i cut off a whole toxic fake friend circle of mine for him but out of them one was very close to me which i regret a little cutting her off. i wish i could sort things out with her before leaving for college but i just don’t know how to do.
I feel very embarrassed to go back to her and be like uk what u were right that guy was sh****. Oh yea i forgot to mention we dated 3 weeks then suddenly things got little off and he broke up with me saying that i cant handle relationship right now and that he has lot of other stuff in his life. Well, everyone believes that he just used me which i kinda feel like is true but i kinda did knew that we were just a casual relationship still i got little attach to him…anyways so recently i have been doing still better. focusing on my exams, friends that are in my life right now and just future. His birthday is on 30th September so should i wish him birthday? my friends said that i can wish as it’s just birthday wish but i just don’t know what should i do as we recently broke up and i kinda don’t want him to think that i am desperate or something for him… and should i talk to my old friend who i cut off for him..
Although that friend of mine was also kinda getting distant from me but at least she was in my life… now she isn’t…it feels so bad that just because of one experience of mine i lost so many people..especially that too when it’s my last year. i literally wish in my last year of school i had good relations with everyone in and out of my school but i guess i just hoped for something that just happens in movies/series…
Wisdom Keeper SusanC Response:
It can feel very unsettling when relationships change. Try not to be too hard on yourself for being with a person who turned out to be not so great. It has happened to many of us; myself included. There is something to learn from all experiences involving other people. As far as wishing this person “Happy Birthday”; my opinion is, why bother. Seems like you are, understandably, feeling a bit raw over what happened. I don’t see how being in touch with this person would be helpful to you in any way.
Now, reconnecting with past friends is a different story. If it feels to awkward to speak in person; perhaps you would be open to putting your feelings and thoughts into words, and sharing what you wrote with the friend/friends you care most about. All you can do is try, and see how the other person responds. It might take time to rebuild the relationship, or, it is possible that the relationship can’t be saved. Unfortunately, as upsetting as that could be; sometimes things just work out that way.
I understand that you are going through a rough time right now. Try to be patient with yourself. Put your best foot forward with the people in your life. If you proceed with sincerity and thoughtfulness; you can know that you did the best you could to regain the friendships. Keep in mind that not all relationships can withstand the test of time. Perhaps you would be open to seeking out and nurturing new friendships. There are a lot of wonderful people out there.
I do wish you the best possible outcome as you navigate your current situation. Please take care of yourself; feel free to write us again, and to share our website with others.
Best Regards,
SusanC
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