“I was really worried that she thought I was dumb. I was also worried that she didn’t view me like everyone else.”
Our Elder says: “An opinion from an unqualified, random, person should be given as much credence as an explanation of quantum mechanics from the burger flipper at your favorite hamburger joint.”
Dear EWC,
There is something that I feel like I need advice on.
A few years ago, I discovered that I may have Asperger’s syndrome. A few years later, a woman told me that having Asperger syndrome might prevent me from finding gainful employment. When she said that, I felt like I was dumb, stupid, an idiot. You name it. Every word that had to do with putting down someone’s intelligence, I felt it. My feelings were really hurt by what she said. I also felt like I wasn’t worth anything and that i was a loser. I was really worried that she thought I was dumb. I was also worried that she didn’t view me like everyone else. From that moment forward, every time she and I spoke, I felt self conscious around her. Even though it was a few years ago, I still struggle with what she said, I have a hard time blocking it out.
When I go downtown or other places, I see people who are drunk, homeless, panhandlers, use drugs and passed out. I once saw a man downtown and his shoes were so damaged, his toes were showing. When I see things like that, what the woman said pops up and I immediately turn away from it. I don’t want to end up like that. I want to do what I can to make my life mean something. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not a dumb person. I’m really not. That is something that I can’t stress enough. I wanted to speak with the woman about what she said and how it made me feel but I didn’t. I kept it to myself. I regret not talking to her about it because if I did, I don’t think I would be thinking about it as much as I do. Maybe I wouldn’t be thinking about it at all. Since 2019, I’ve been working at Walmart. I started out as a cart pusher and eventually become a stocking associate.
I also worked as a dietary aide in a hospital after volunteering there for some time. I’m also enrolled in a community college studying computers. I’m also in the process of trying to get my own one bedroom apartment. Even though I’m trying to get my life to where I want it to be, I still have a hard time blocking out what she said. What should i do to block this out and move forward?
Wisdom Keeper Ketchman Response:
Thank you, Shane, for reaching out to us. I’m one of the Elders here at the Elder Wisdom Circle. I’ll try to help.
First I want to assure you that a medical or psychological “diagnosis” from a totally unqualified individual is meaningless. A more meaningful opinion would be one that comes from a medical professional with extensive psychological training and experience and, even then, after extensive interviews and testing. An opinion from an unqualified, random, person should be given as much credence as an explanation of quantum mechanics from the burger flipper at your favorite hamburger joint. For whatever it’s worth, it’s of interest to note that “Asperger’s” is no longer considered to be a legitimate medical diagnosis. What was once called “Asperger’s Syndrome” would now be a point somewhere on a rather long line of the autism spectrum.
I’ve no professional psychological qualifications whatsoever; however, based upon my own experiences it seems that being somewhere on that line – which I hasten to add you have not received a true diagnosis of – is not, necessarily a disadvantage. It can actually be an advantage based upon the unique ways of observing the world possessed by many “on the spectrum”. Albert Einstein, Elon Musk, Darryl Hannah, are just a few of the many geniuses of science, industry, letters, and the arts who were built that way. Here’s a site that goes into some detail on that: https://behavioral-innovations.com/blog/20-famous-people-with-autism-spectrum-disorder-asd/#:~:text=She%20(%20Daryl%20Hannah%20)%20received%20an,Daryl%20Hannah%20)%20career%20as%20an%20actress.
So, Shane, what I’m trying to say is I want you to understand that a casual diagnosis by an unqualified individual is meaningless and, even if there might be a smidgen of truth; that could be to your advantage. In any case, go on with your life, as you’ve been doing, take whatever advanced training that catches your interest, and I suspect you’ll discover your fears were pure imagination. In the words of one of our great presidents, “…the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself…”.
We’re honored that you’ve come to us for help on such an important matter. I hope you’ll use us again, anytime we might be of assistance on whatever issues might come up. Thank you for giving me a chance to help. I hope I was able to.
Best Regards,
Elder Ketchman
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