Choosing My Path in Life

“But I really want to audition. I want to make a debut and make music that reaches people’s souls and give performances that makes them forget about reality for a little while.”

Our Elder says: “You have many dreams of the type of life that you want.  That is how it should be at your age.”

Dear EWC,

For almost two years now, I’ve had the seed in my mind of wanting to audition for a company far away and train to become a singer. It plagues my mind and doesn’t leave me alone. I think about it every single day and I want to audition in February. I heard that if a dream keeps coming back to haunt you, then it’s what you’re supposed to do. But I don’t really know what I want. The thought of living a regular life frankly scares the crap out of me — working a 9-5, raising a family, just going through life quietly, just… nothing noteworthy or special about it. Honestly, with respect to people who live like that, it sounds like a nightmare to me. But at the same time, there are things in that quiet life that I don’t want to have to give up. Being a fangirl, going to all of my favorite bands’ concerts, having a cute room, casually walking over to Dunkin and getting a coffee, planning hangouts and walking around the city with my friends. It’s all very mundane but those are the experiences I don’t want to give up.

But I really want to audition. I want to make a debut and make music that reaches people’s souls and give performances that makes them forget about reality for a little while. I don’t know if I’m ready, but I’m turning 17 next year so I’m running out of time. There are things I think about doing when I’m an adult — getting an apartment, adopting my own cat, having a girlfriend and potentially getting married to her. But I can’t do those things if I’m in the spotlight. I can do some of the little things I mentioned earlier, but… I just don’t know.

I knew it would have sacrifices from the start. I hear about the sacrifices that people who made it big have made all the time. And I am ready to give up a lot of things. But would it be worth it? What all the suffering and intense exertion from training all day, every day just burns me out? I know I have passion, and I want this so bad. I just don’t know if I could survive that industry. What if my group made it big and the fans didn’t like me?

Sometimes when I think about it too hard I just get so scared. But maybe it would be worth the risk. I think about being received negatively a lot but what if I end up becoming an artist who makes songs that saves people’s lives? Songs where girls who feel lonely can find solace?

I want to do what my favorite band did for me, for someone else. I don’t know if I’m worthy of it but I really want to try. I think I would regret it forever if I didn’t pursue this. But I’m just so terrified and confused. I don’t want to give up everything, but that’s what this job would entail. The company will say I’m past the audition age if I wait until I’m older. I’m 16 now, it’s my last chance. I’ve been thinking about this since I was 14.

Anyway, thank you for reading all this. I hope you have a nice day, and thank you in advance for the advice. <3

Mimi23 Response:

Thank you for coming to Wisdom Circle for some advice Ven. Please know that we are very concerned about your issues and want to provide some useful guidance.

When you describe being scared of having a “normal” life I can remember feeling the same way.  You want to have adventures and a different sort of life than the one you see all around you.  That is all a part of being young.  You have many dreams of the type of life that you want.  That is how it should be at your age.

I do applaud your honesty and passion about beginning a singing career.  I am sure that you know the music business and entertainment in general are both challenging and highly competitive.  Even if you have plenty of talent, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to excel in the entertainment world.  You could be lucky and get a big break.  You might have to wait tables for many years, as you audition and try to perfect your craft.  There will probably be many disappointments along the way.  There will be bright spots too.  But nobody knows how it will all play out for you.  That is just how things are.

I believe that when you have a big dream, it is best to start with some small steps.  I don’t know what kind of vocal training (if any) you have had.  Maybe you want to look into that.  How much singing experience have you had?  This is something that someone giving you an audition would need to know.  Have you ever been part of a chorus or other singing group?  Is it possible to get some basic training now?

My advice to you Ven, is to start finding out what you need to do to start on the path and then do it.  You have been thinking about this for three years, so it is time to take some action.  Find the people (teachers, parents, other family members etc) that can help you get started.  Take some small steps towards your goal and see how you do.  But take those first steps now.

The reality is that most of us have to work for a living Ven.  We all want to have jobs that are interesting and fulfilling and sometimes exciting.  Most of us only get that once in awhile.  But your life is what you make it.   And as the years go by, your ideas about the type of life that you want will continue to change.

I have every confidence that you will explore and grow and find the life work that suits you best.

Mimi23