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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

Letter #: 380993
Category: Marriage

Original Letter


i have got myself in a messy situation that i cant get out off, and miss my wife. but i think she hates me. im seeing someone else. she doesnt compare to my wife. never will.

Elder Response

If you're serious about wanting your wife back, then, even though you claim not to be able to get yourself out of your sticky situation, you would have to do just that, in my opinion, if you wanted a real chance of reconciling with your wife. If your wife hates you, Martin, it would probably go a long way for her if you were totally free of the encumbrances of your situation so that you could go to your wife with clean hands and tell her that you know now from experience that you made a huge mistake. And while you want her to take you back, you know you don't have the right to ask her to take you back; you know you would have to earn your way back in. Then you could ask her out on a series of dates where you tell her in great detail what you missed about her, and if she's amenable, you could also suggest couples counseling.

But the first step is to completely extricate yourself from your current situation. Whether your wife is willing to try to work things out with you or not, it's my view that you need to move on from where you are. If not with your wife, then with someone else who has the qualities you admire in your wife and with whom you can create a good and happy future life.

I wish you all the best, Martin. Please tell your friends about our service.

Best Regards,



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