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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

MARRIAGE: Worried Wife Is Not Attracted to Me
Letter #: 384862
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

i have a question reguarding me and my wifes sexual attration for one another if you could give me some insight it would be greatly appreciated..... ok when i see her naked it turns me on im a guy and i find her attractive but if i am naked even just laying next to her naked for a while she says its normal for her to not be attracted towards me.. beacuse she's a girl and thats the way girls are they are differnt then guys.. is this logical or is it the way i feel beacuse i think that if you love someone then stuff like that should turn you on guy or girl correct i dont know i feel like shes not attracted towards me is not going to work for us if she doesnt find me attractive when im naked will she find someone who is???? please help me understand if this is normal or not..... please thanks so much

Elder Response

Rich, your wife is 100% correct.  Men tend to be more visually oriented in regards to sexual stimulation than women.  Men tend to take very little time to be eager for sexuality than their female partners.  Don't feel that the feelings and actions described by your wife indicate a problem or her lack of attraction to you.  Don't feel that her feelings indicate a lack of interest in you or a yearning for another.  It's just mother nature's way. 

Rich, while a quick look at your wife may put you in the mood for immediate sexuality, it doesn't tend to work that way for women.  They value conversation, affection, kissing and foreplay.  You can study the matter further by looking for serious web sites or printed material that will give you more details and specific advice.  

I've enclosed a short article from the respected magazine "Psychology Today" in which a woman PhD gives a short summary of differences in sexuality with men as opposed to women.  Work on becoming the kind of lover and husband that your wife desires.  You will both be pleased.  


Best Regards,



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