Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™
SELF-IMPROVEMENT: I Keep Reliving the Trauma
I just recently broke up with my boyfrined of 6 years. We both moved to Ireland together and left everything for each other. He made me completely happy and he looked happy too, so happy that everyone loved us as a couple. About a month ago I found out he was somehow cheating on me, we broke up, he moved out, but he is very impulsive and one day he got into my house and after a very long argument he went to the room next mine, and I thought that he was going to stay there until I moved out.
After some minutes I started hearing these chocking noises and ran as fast as I could to his room and caught him hanging from the closet. I honestly haven't been able to get the image of him hanging, his face all red and his eyes like popping out of his head. He actualy told me he passed out for a moment, so I actually saw him dead for a few seconds. I haven't been able to sleep cause eveyrtime I close my eyes I relive the moment when I saw him. I haven't ben able to concentrate at absolutely anything, I don't have enough energy to get out of my bed, I have not enough friends that I can trust with sharing this, because they all know him too, I don't want them to judge him or see him less, and end with no friends at all.
This atempted suicide you witnessed has caused you severe trauma, Arely. Not only where you a witness, but the person attempting to kill himself was someone for whom you had some feelings, and someone with whom you had just argued. No wonder you have been affected strongly.
This is a problem that needs professional help. Even if you had friends you felt you could talk to about this, they wouldn't know how to help you. A professional counselor will have to keep what you tell them confidential, will understand what sort of feelings you are having and will know what will help you.
You may feel some sort of responsibility for your ex boyfriend's actions, but what he did was his choice. The fact that he did what he did at that time was possibly even an attempt to sway your feelings for him. The lucky thing is that he survived, no doubt because of you, and that you can both be helped.
I am going to attach two referral service websites to the bottom of this letter, and urge you to contact them, unless you know of a professional counselor where you are that you prefer. Please seek help. It is out there. Good luck.