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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Making a Fresh Start After Breakup
Letter #: 387779
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter


So i broke up wth my girl friend in a knee jerk argument and now im trying to get her back. there has been some back and forth and I told her how i felt and that i was sorry and wrong and that i still loved her, but she responded with that i left her when she needed me most and was really hurt and didnt know if she could forgive me. I have been giving her space and i do not reach out to her and let her text me. I respond if she does but it is not very often that she texts me. she said there was another guy she was talking to but she said she still loves me and wants me in her life becasue im her best friend and had been there trhough everything for her. We are going on a two day trip to the beach today and she said she is really excited. I really love this girl and i want her in my life again not the old relationship but a fresh new start in a loving comitted relationship. What do I do?


Elder Response

Well, Jay, I'm glad you've reached out to us at EWC, and I hope these thoughts will be helpful.

First, I know you're hurting, and yearning to have your girl back. And I think you've got a good chance!

When you said that she doesn't know if she can forgive you, I think she also meant that she didn't know if she could trust you again. Trust, I think, is the issue. But the reason I'm optimistic is that she's going with you on a two-day trip and that she's excited about it. Those are really good signs!

So, what to do? Well, one thing you can do is to take very seriously your own words, that you want to have a loving and committed relationship. Loving is about how you treat her, how you talk to her-including not suddenly deciding you want "out!" If you ever have negative feelings about her again, take her out for a drink, and discuss your thoughts/feelings with her. Ask her advice, and her help with those feelings and thoughts.

Committed means that she's not only your number one, but that she's your ONLY number one!

As for a fresh start: just be yourself. Not perfect, because nobody's perfect, just be that loving and committed self that you want to be. Talk to her. Share your thoughts with her. Make her feel special. But above all, just be you.

Best of luck, brother!

Best Regards,



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