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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

FAMILY: Parents Won't Let Me Have Fun
Letter #: 387913
Category: Friendship

Original Letter

Well, I'm 13 and the past few years in my life have been so hard. Everyone is always out, having fun. At eachother's houses, out on the streets, shopping in town, etc. But I'm not allowed to do those kinda things until I'm 16. All the kids I know were allowed to play out when they were as young as 8 but I have to wait til I'm 16. Because of this, I have no friends and I'm constantly nervous and worrying if I'll ever have friends. I feel like everyone judges me for this, help!

Elder Response

I don't know why your parents are behaving the way the are Lily.  They may be terribly worried about what influences are "out there" and have tried to protect you.  But I do understand how difficult it must be for you not be able to form friendships by going out with friends.  You're 13, and usually girls are doing those things, but here's what I suggest.  

It may not be that your folks don't trust you but, as I said, they are afraid of bad influences or the stories they hear on the news, etc. I think if they learned to trust that you can exercise good judgment,  it's possible they would loosen the reins a bit.  I know this sounds boring, but if you have chores, do them on time...if you say you're going to do something - stick to your word and finish the task.  Exercise your own good sense and let them know you are mature and it may make them feel less worried.  Or, invite some of your friends to your house so your parents can see them - it may make them feel a little more secure.

I know it's hard and makes you feel isolated, and I'm sure you've tried to talk to them.  Maybe after a while try again, but do it quietly and in a mature fashion.  The more grown up they see you behaving, the more freedom they may give you.  At least give it a try.  Good luck.

Best Regards,

Good-Listener


    

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