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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Relationship is Changing
Letter #: 388401
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Hello, my name is Emily-Jane and im 15. 

Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 months and i feel as if the relationship is changing. I'm not sure if its for the good or bad; we meesage eachother a lot less now. We used to talk 24/7 on the phone but now its just in the evening. I'm someone who needs to be reasured often otherwise i begin to worry lots, and i feel as if i have'nt been getting that like i used to. We have been together for quite a long time now and we've become much closer and feel very comfortable around eachother, especailly since we've had sex. Im just wondering whats going on and if this is something i should worry about? 

Thank you xx smiley

Elder Response

I hope, Emily-Jane, that I can provide some reassurance about your relationship.  I may also have a couple of comments about maintaining it.

I would call that initial period of 24/7 talking on the phone as perhaps the initial infatuation and excitement that each of you felt as you became more involved.  You mention that the two of you have ‘become much closer’ and ‘feel more comfortable’.  Those are perhaps positive signs that your relationship, which really is not long-term yet, has perhaps reached a new stage where some respect and trust have developed.

I understand about the reassurance that you need.  Communications between two persons play a huge role in a successful relationship.  It is not just about keeping in touch.  If situations arise where you have a concern or you detect that he may have a concern, then discuss it in a respectful way.  You may wish to discuss your relationship with him in a positive way and see how he responds.

I wish to add one more comment.  I will keep it short to not stray too far from the reason for your letter.  I am not in a position to provide an opinion to individuals in their teen years who engage in intimate behavior.  I will simply state to be sure to take care of your health and to minimize the risk of an outcome that you may not want at this time in your life. 

I wish I could provide you with guarantees.  I cannot.  Each of you can simply do the best that you can and proceed with your relationship and your lives.  Treat each other with respect.  Communicate.  Good luck, Emily-Jane!

Best Regards,



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