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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Dating 5 Guys At Once Is Stressful
Letter #: 389840
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

I hard time saying no and i just found myself dating 5 guys and now they are slowly finding out about each other but the website it blocked and i'm losing my mind right now.

Elder Response

Gee, Kaitlan, you must be pretty popular having 5 guys ask you out, but I can see where this is causing you problems. And I can somewhat imagine the gossip that is going around. Since you said you are "losing" your mind right now, I think you are feeling helpless and that makes me feel badly for you. What you need to know, however, is that you are not helpless. You can learn to say NO and change your life around.

You can take total control of this situation now to where you begin feeling better. In order to do this, I suggest you drop 4 of these guys. Decide which one you want to keep and date him only. And if that doesn't work out, drop all 5 of them and start over.

And regarding your inability to say "NO", if you begin practicing it, you will learn how. I know you will feel uncomfortable at first but then you'll see it gets easier and easier. You cannot allow everyone to run your life and you can't fear hurting people's feelings by not doing what they want. Yes, you want to be liked - we all do; but you will be liked and respected much more if you stand up for what you believe in and not worry about other people's opinion of you.

I hope what I've said makes sense to you, Kaitlan, as I want you to feel better. Just remember, you can take control and clear up this mess you're in right now and begin having more fun. I wish you luck.

Best Regards,



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