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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

SCHOOL: How Can I Make My Classmates More United?
Letter #: 390107
Category: Friendship

Original Letter

Hi! I need an advice. I am the type of person that cares a lot about the friends because in the past I have lost a lot of friends, so now I learnt to value friendship a tone more, but I still need an advice. How is a class supposed to be? United, right? In my opinion yes because you spend a few years with these people and you learn and grow with them, but my class is not that united. There s a gossip group, or a really mean girl, or the boys that are pessimistic. I am friends with everyone in my class, but recently there has been tension between my classmates. They started kind of hating each other. I am not trying to act like the hero, but I really don't want to lose more friends because I will break down eventually. What should I do?

Elder Response

A school class, such as the "Class of 2017", is made up of a group of people who are, more or less randomly, thrown together with the only commonality being that they're all scheduled to graduate in the same year.   Since that's the only criteria for selection there's always going to be a very wide variance in beliefs, personalities, and interests among the class.  That being the case, I don't think, pufoshenia99, that there's any reason to expect that they're all going to be friends with each other.  Throw any group of people together and you're always going to see sub groups being formed around various interests, personalities, and world views.  While there might be some issues that unite everyone, such as loyalty to the school or, perhaps, its' sports teams; that's probably the best you can hope for.

If I were you, I would do my best to be respectful, kind and friendly to everyone, but to seek deeper friendships with those with whom you share connections with in the form of common interests, beliefs, world views, or those with whom, for no explainable reason, you simply "feel" a connection with.  Oftentimes it doesn't take special effort to make that happen.  Simply by doing the things you like to do, or following the subjects that interest you, those people will appear and friendships will bloom. 

You're always going to run into people with whom you're going to have difficulty getting along.  That's just an effect of the wide range of personalities that characterize the human species.  I think the best you can hope for is to treat them with respect and kindness and hope that, at least that respect, if not friendship, will be returned to you.

What I'm trying to say, in brief, is make and nurture friendships with those whom you feel a connection with, and be as kind as you can to everyone else even if that kindness is not returned.  Do that and you'll be fine.  You sound to me like a generous and compassionate person who will, naturally, attract and keep good friends - who will be proud and protective of that relationship. 

I hope I've helped.  Please call on us again whenever you could use a bit of assistance on whatever might come up.  We're always here and will always do our best for you.  If you like you could always ask for me and I'll be pleased to offer whatever help I can.  Thank you for giving me a chance to do so this time.

















Best Regards,



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