Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™
OTHER: Should I Keep the Lie Going? Original Letter I lied about breaking my arm to be excused from my gym class in school. There is a person in that class that I really dislike and cannot stand being around at all, which is the main reason I lied. I also just don't particularly like gym. I never had an outright issue with it, though. It has been about three months of me lying to my teachers and nurse. I am in a study hall, which I LOVE! I can do any school work that I want in the study hall. I really need that extra time in the morning before my other classes to relax and do some studying. I feel very content with the fact that I am not in gym class. But the lies are catching up to me, and I'm feeling suddenly guilty about this. I don't know if I should sacrifice my happiness because I feel guilt from lying. Lying is not much of an issue for me unless it affects someone else negatively, but it doesn't affect anyone else. I don't think my teachers would care much if they found out I had lied. Also, I don't know how much longer I can keep up the lie. I feel like I shouldn't have to give up something that I just really am thankful for if there isn't a good reason to give it up other than the fact that I lied. My conscience is not being fair. I rarely ever ask for anything in life, and when I put effort forth to get something for myself, I think that I should be able to continue this. But if my conscience is being so negatively affected, is it really worth it? I'm not sure. Should I just calm down and keep going with this lie because I know it's helpful to me and not harmful to others? Thanks for reading! Elder Response The good news is you have a conscience, Moon. You realize what you have done is inherently wrong, (even though you have a good reason for lying) and want to fix the problem. Not that it matters, but I am curious about one thing. Since you did not break your arm, it cannot be in a cast. I can’t figure out how you got the teachers and nurse to believe you for 3 months. The other issue is you need to deal with this immediately. Bones heal, and usually faster than 3 months. Suspicions are going to soon arise that you are avoiding gym. My solution would be to tell your teachers and nurse you are well enough to attend gym. Technically, you are, so you are not misleading them. There really is no reason in my thinking for you to admit you were “faking” it for 3 months. Now that you addressed this problem, you have 2 more to solve. The problem with the person in your class, and the distaste you have for gym. Realize there will always be people in your life you will not enjoy being around. Learning how to deal with their presence now, will help you in the future. Avoidance and silence is probably the best approach. Minimizing interaction will make it less unnerving. As far as your distaste for gym, that is also a life lesson. There will always be tasks and chores in your life you dislike. Unfortunately, you will have to endure them. Do your best, and don’t become preoccupied with your dislike. Look at gym as a chore you do not enjoy, but have to do. “hold your nose” and plod through it. Another possibility is to speak with your counselor in a few weeks. Explain the issue with the person, and they may be able to adjust your schedule next term. Don’t be overly concerned, Moon. In the end, you are doing the right thing. Think about taking an acting class. You are obviously very good at it! Best Regards, Grandpat |
