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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

SELF-IMPROVEMENT: Scared of the Future
Letter #: 392140
Category: School

Original Letter

Dear Elderly, I'm a 17 year old girl from Malaysia who have just graduated high school and are currently enjoying my life without any responsibilities.On the outside,everything seems fine and amazing but on the inside of my mind,I am actually terrified and are very very scared of the future. 

I have been completely restless these days about thinking my future.I've been thinking about my edcuation mostly and also the path that I'm choosing for my future.My study plan is that I was thnking to get a Foundation in Business here in Malaysia then continue my studies in Germany for the next maybe 4 years. What scares me the most is the process of planning my studies,cause to me I value very much the importance of education and in my family,I might be the first one to received a formal education since I'm the youngest in my famly out of my 4 older siblings. The idea of studying in germany have been lingering around in my mind for quite some time and I'm just so scared that what if my application doesn't go through and what if I suffered a financial issue and what if something bad happen during the process and all else fails?

There is alot of what if's and I know I shouldn't be thinking about it but I can't help it and it won't happen for like another 2 years since my foundation will take 1 year for me to finish then another year for me to gather and prepare everything else for germany such as documentation,money and etc. I know I haven't been much of asking for a solution but all I want to know is that it's gonna be okay.I just wish someone would tell that it's gonna be okay cause right I'm scared as hell about the future.I'm scared that maybe what I'm doing is wrong and I'm gonna regret it my whole life.

How do I know if its the right thing for me? How do I know that its gonna be okay in the end?How? Please help me cause right now I don't know whats right and whats wrong when even my heart is being dishonest with me and my mind is clouded with a lot of judgement.

Elder Response

My dear Qill, don't we all wish we could be sure about the future and if our plans will work out? But no one can do this and you are not alone in being a little anxious about it. 

First of all I'd like to commend you on your goal and plan to pursue a good education. Congratulations on that! And if you enjoy business it is a good field to go into since as long as the world turns, there will be business to tend to. You would be correct in pursuing all the courses that you now can to prepare for higher education, whether it is in Germany or closer to home.

Qill, what you need to do is identify your goals and make plans as best you can. Goals without plans are just wishes and wishes don't necessarily come true. Pay attention to your planning and definitely seek the help and advice of teachers, counselors, family and so on. Research the Internet for sure. Be a thorough as you can in planning. The better you plan, the better the chance is that you will achieve your goal.

Once you have good plans in place what more can you do? Your worrying will not help one bit. There is an old Chinese proverb that I like: "That the birds of worry land in you hair, this you cannot stop. That they build a nest, this you can prevent."  You are building a nest of worry when you dwell on "What if". You can ask that question when you are planning and trying to be as thorough as you can. But once the plans are in place it's full steam ahead! If you keep asking yourself  "What if ..." this is lack of self confidence in your ability to survive, no matter what happens. 

Qill, if you can understand and convince yourself that ALL of life involves risk, risk is part of life and it can never be completely eliminated then you can stop worrying about it and just boldly accept it. The person who takes no risk plans very little and accomplishes very little. Risk takes us into the future!

Don't let the prospect of failure bother you. Can you even point out to me one person who has done well and not had some failures to deal with along the way? What leads to success is overcoming failures and not giving up. You sound like a very intelligent person, one is is totally capable of handling failures and adapting. Be confident that you can and stop worrying about it!

I hope some of this makes sense Qill and wish you great success in your plans for the journey ahead. It can be an exciting one! Please do feel free to write back anytime :-)

Best Regards,

Treefrog


    

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