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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Arguing About Every Little Thing
Letter #: 392797
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Hello,my name is lilly and my boyfriend and i have only been together for two months and during those two months i have ended up spending 46$ in total on him and he only bought me a dollars worth of m&m's but he never thanked me for anything so i confronted him about it. then he apologized and said thank you for everything but now we have hit a stage in our relationship where we realized we are too different and its hard to spend time with each other when either i hate sometime or he does and so we ended up arguing about the smallest things ever like what movie to watch or what place to eat at . i've always heard that arguing in a relationship is healthy but we argue all the time now , what can i do to make us argue less ???

Elder Response

I am so sorry you are having such difficulties at this time. Usually when a relationship is as new as yours things are still going well. It sounds to me that you have jumped into making this serious too fast. A successful relationship is not based on how much money the couple spends on one another.

I suggest you scales back your romantic expectations. Your boyfriend may not be mature enough to realize that romantic gestures are important to a girl. You can't make him into a romantic.

You mentioned that you have both realized that you are too different from one another. It is important for a couple to have things in common. Things like enjoying the same music, the same foods, the same sports. When a couple has nothing in common it is very difficult for them to make the relationship work for both of them. They often argue because they just can't agree on anything. Arguing is not fun, as you have discovered.

Lilly, I know it's nice to have a boyfriend and it's much better to have the right boyfriend. It's better to wait for "Mr. Right" rather than to settle for "Mr.Right Now." In my opinion, you would be happier if you let this boyfriend go. It doesn't sound like he cares that much about you anyway. I know you invested $46.00. Consider that a lesson learned and next time wait to get to know your boyfriend before you start spending money on him. It might be best if you pay for yourself when you are just getting to know someone.

I hope my advice is helpful and that you will contact Elder Wisdom Circle again if you need us. We are always here.

Best Regards,



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