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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

SCHOOL: People Make Me Feel Like a Loser
Letter #: 394213
Category: School

Original Letter

Ok so my name is tyler and I just need to vent about something that's on my mind well my school problem is growing out of proportion and it's affecting my well being 

well I have 2 problems in 2 areas of my day which are always ruined basically I just got in high school and I told myself I wouldn't hang out with the douches in 8th grade who literally called me ugly and made fun of me for no reason at all and I'm a guy btw it might be jealousy but I can't be sure anyone soon after arriving to high school I found out how important it is to have friends cause who wants to be a loner well these assholes have made my life 10x as hard now that we're in high school literally bothering me for no reason and I feel I must hang out with them so I can't be a loner and this is at lunch and in the morning so if I think I'm having a good day they just f*ck if up and the same goes for my pe class I hang out with the small group that I created so we all couldn't be loners and I'm at the butt of every joke and tbh it hurts but it makes me mad at the same time which is what causes fights which I've already gotten into 3 this school year 

my question how do I escape this madness without being a loner and I do have 1 true friend I know I can trust but he never comes to school like ever it can dead ass be so draining to be around these ppl who literally make me feel like a loser any advice?

Elder Response

Nobody can make you feel like a loser without your permission! Don’t give it to them.

There are bullies out there. They are the losers, but they try to make other people feel bad, thinking that will make them feel better about themselves. If they make fun of you and others, and some other kids join in and laugh, they think that makes them a big deal. It doesn’t. If you let them see you getting down, they think it’s working.

This may be hard to deal with. Nobody likes to be the butt of the jokes. But, if you can ignore them, hold your head up high, walk with a confident posture, smile and be kind to others, they will finally give up and pick on someone who reacts the other way.

Tyler, you were wise to decide to keep away from them in high school. Now, as you point out, how do you find friends to hang with? Have you considered trying out for a team, joining a club, finding a musical group or choir? One of the best ways to make friends is to find people interested in doing what you like to do, and then join them in doing it. You don’t do it to just look for friends, but people do like other people who like the same things. So, before you know it, you have a couple of new friends. And they introduce you to their friends, and it multiplies.

It doesn’t need to be at school. You can join others in your neighborhood, at the park, at church or a community center. The key is to get out there and be interested in something and then find others interested in that thing. Be interested, and that will make you interesting to others.

You can do it. Ignore the punks. Be a good guy. Be confident and bold. Other people like to hang with people like that.

Best Regards,

GeorgeK


    

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