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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Is Third Time the Charm?
Letter #: 394215
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Hey, so me and my girlfriend just started dating about a month ago, but this is the 3rd time we've dated. 

The first time we were really young, about 12, and didn't know what we were doing, I eventually ended it because I let my jealousy get the best of me. So about a year went by and I couldn't help myself but like her again, the feelings just came back. We were always good friends and hung out with each other and naturally I guess the feelings came back? 

So we tried it a second time, but I ended it again because I didn't see her for a summer and found someone else, which was a huge mistake because she was not half the person that my other girlfriend was. But anyways I eventually left that girlfriend and was single for about 4 months. I didn't want to be in a relationship at the time because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't needing a relationship, or being desperate. 

But for the 3rd time, my feelings came back! We are currently together and I really want to make it work, all my friends think I'm desperate and it isn't going to work, but I really really want it to, my question is that is 3 times with the same person too many? Thanks

Elder Response

No, three times is not too many. It shows that there was always something that both of you appreciated about each other. That is great! All relationships take work. Nothing is achieved without effort.  Growing up means learning about others, and learning about yourself. I expect that you are both very different from when you were 12. I don't know how old you are now, or if the current relationship will work out, but I do know that you will be even more mature at 18 and at 25. The important thing is always  to try to make things work. Great, if they do. But even if they don't, you will have grown and learned and can apply these lessons to another partner, or even the same one if you return for a 4th or 5th try.

Important advice: NEVER be influenced by what your friends are saying. They are not you, Jaeron, and they will not have to suffer the consequences of any advice they give you. Be your own person and have confidence in your decisions.

Best Regards,



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