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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

Letter #: 394319
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Okay so me and my ex broke up about three month's ago and now she's in a whole other relationship with another female and we recently just stopped talking to each other because of a huge disagreement that we had but my question is why did she get in another relationship so fast? Why didn't she let her heart heal before getting another relationship? Why do people get in another relationship so fast after breaking up with somebody?

Elder Response

Mari, you are making the wise decision of not rushing into another relationship after only a three month old breakup.  You don't mention how long you were in the relationship with your ex-friend but I believe that it takes as long to heal as the relationship was and that could sometimes be years.

It is my feeling that you have to think through your old relationship, learn lessons from it that you will try not to repeat and then and only then are you ready to embrace a new relationship.

As far as your ex is concerned, some people can't bear the thought of being alone so they run from relationship to relationship, sometimes getting in right but mostly not. I think it is insecurity on the part of these people that makes them dread their own company and why they rush into a new relationship without mourning the loss of the last but you are wise in your thinking and can only have good hopes for your ex.

So far as the fight that has caused you to no longer be friends, my advice would be to leave that for awhile because I think it's hard to go from being lovers right into being friends.

I wish you much luck, Mari, and please feel free to write to us anytime.

Best Regards,



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