Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™
CHILDREN: Daughter Doesn't Know I'm Her Biological Father
Hi,My daughter has not been told who her biological father is even though the mother promised me to tell her many times.She was born in Guadalajara Mexico while I worked there and then moved to San Diego with her husband.The husband was over 30 years older and had the snip years before so could not have children (he had a couple of kids in California) So thats how she got permission from him to go find someone to get pregnant by. My daughter is now 27.
Do you think people have the right to be told who their biological parents are? I dont know who to leave my possessions to when I leave this planet. I have a considerable amout in properties and vehicles(motorcycles and cars) I dont have brothers and sisters and the relatives in Ireland are only interested if they think I have money to give them,,which I have but they aint getting any.I am an Irish and I live parts of the year in London UK,Ireland and Brazil.
Things like this have a way of being found out, and it would be far better for her to find out from her parents than on her own and feel deceived and lied to. She is old enough to handle it and deserves to know, not only for medical reasons but because she may want a relationship with you. Tell her mother that the agreement was that she would tell her and she hasn't kept that promise, so you are going to tell her, unless she wants to do it together. If she wants to do it together, arrange a place and time.
What concerns me is that you seem to want to leave your daughter money, which is a nice gesture, but you said nothing of wanting a relationship with her, or wanting to know about her, her goals, etc. I think that relationship is far more important than money. If you go ahead with telling her she may want to have a relationship with you, so you need to consider how you feel about that. So think about whether you would want to get together with her, how often and where, etc. before having the conversation.