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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

SELF-IMPROVEMENT: Failing college and looking for passion
Letter #: 394398
Category: School

Original Letter

Hi, i'm 20 years old and studying accounting at college, currently second year but might get kicked out for failing and getting low grades. ever since high school i never studied even for exams still but managed to get average grades 60-70%. but college is different i started to skip classes and not bother doing some homework that's why i ended up failing. i'm usually hard working when it comes to things i want to do or love or that are for others, like work,gym,school projects that involve other people, i don't want to be the reason they're marks drop so i usually get 80%+ but when it comes to myself i slack off. 

i talked to a lot of people at school and they told me that maybe this isn't what my passion is or that i just need to suck it up and stop being lazy, maybe they are right i picked accounting because i did OK in high school at it and my parents thought it was good and safe career but i'm not very excited about it or anything. my family doesn't know about this its very hard for me to tell them i tend to be closed but they are still supportive and we are close so i want to support them too and start pulling my weight, we are not very rich so i cant spend a lot of money on college if i'm just going to fail. 

i wanted to ask how do i find my passion, or am i just being stupid and lazy. people ask my what my goal is in life and its simple i just want to live happy life and start a family and maybe travel :D. Thanks in advance.

Elder Response

PASSION... so often pursued, so seldom found in any pursuit that leads to a paying career. You, it seems, already have your 'passion'... you want to live a happy life... you want to start a family... and you, maybe, want to travel. Seems like, for you, this career pursuit is a means to this end. You will need to force yourself, coerce yourself, and hunker down in order to get your degree. It'll be hard work, but well worth the effort if it affords you your goals, Fadi!

Alternatively, if you don't bother and make all sorts of lousy excuses to fail, you will feel awful! You will have wasted your parents' hard-earned money and disappointed them in a way they may never get over. I very much doubt that they will finance another try at college. You will have to finance that yourself or face a life where you most possibly live in poverty. Poverty has a way of sucking the happiness out of life, may make a family impossible, and may make travel impossible... these consequences of your present lazy behavior may be lifelong... and always regretted. Good reason to get down to work! 

My husband would tell you the most important thing to do in college is GO TO CLASS. No excuses, get yourself to class. Of course, you've found that the second most important thing is DO YOUR WORK. It is both that simple... and that hard. 

How will you ever develop the will-power muscles to do your work on a job if you allow yourself to be lazy and give yourself excuses to behave stupidly? It sounds like you need to gain control over yourself... for your own benefit. This power over one's self is important. It may be that you have faltered without your parents on hand to drive you on. As you realize, I hope, it is up to YOU to drive yourself on. Some skill to learn in addition to skills learned at school! 

It sounds like you are quite bright and managed to slip by all the way to college without putting in much effort. Well, you're in college now... and you may need to learn how to study! Even those with very high IQ's find there is a point in their school career where they must apply themselves and study. There are numerous free websites that give study tips or your college advisor may be able to share study tips for you. You haven't gotten stupid... the studies have gotten more difficult and complex. In your laziness and laxness of the last months you may have missed learning certain foundational skills/concepts that you may need to now learn on your own or by asking a teacher to guide you. 

I hope my perspective pushes you to accomplish in college so you can achieve your life goals... even if you don't quite feel like working. Allowing the laziness to be habitual, Fadi, would wreck your chances for the good life you'd like. Do well and prosper! Write anytime. 

Best Regards,



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