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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

Letter #: 396115
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

I have a ex boyfriend who recently moved back to where I live, he's been in placement but I'm guessing court has sent him back. He now goes to my school and we have a class together. I've known him since I was 12 and im now 17. We started dating a year ago, but around December 2015 he got sent back to placement.. we dated for about a month and then broke up because of the distance. We would always tell eachother it was going to be me and you in the end, do you think it's possible for us to get back together? We've spoken ,but never really got to the whole relationship thing.. 

is this fate that's happening? I had no idea he was even coming back, I came to school one day and bam there he was lol.. I can't help but think this means something.. and I really want to know if there's a way I could show him we should be together again... Please help me. I know my story is everywhere but I feel like I said basically everything you need to know, even though there's so much more I could say . Thanks!

Elder Response

Instead of asking if it is possible that the two of you could be together again, I have other questions: Why has he been in placement twice?  And is this the kind of person you want to be with? Please think very seriously about this. A successful relationship is based on trust, shared values, and healthy communication. Based on whatever he did that landed him in placement, is this someone you can trust?  Is this someone who shares your values? Please don't take these questions lightly. Added to that is the fact that he is back at the same school, but hasn't tried to reconnect with you. 

The bottom line is that I don't believe in fate.  I do believe that people make choices and people make commitments.  And choices and commitments are what determine how successful we will be in life. It takes hard work to achieve our goals. My suggestion is for you to get very clear about the kind of relationship would work best for you. 

Then, if you truly believe that this boy is the kind of person who can be part of a relationship like that, sit down with him. Talk about all of this. Each of you has to commit 100/100 (NOT 50/50). If you can't do that, then please let this boy go and move on.  You are of far too much value in this world to settle for anything less than what will serve you. 

Best Regards,



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