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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Apparently Everything Is My Fault
Letter #: 399734
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

I'm dating a guy and it's long distance by 30 minutes away from each other. We use to text or talk all the time and now he doesn't. We would say good morning and good night and now I only find myself saying it. It now takes him hours to have him text me. He gets mad when I'm in a group chat with my friends,Text a certain way,etc. I am clingy but I am changing that. he told me to stop liking all his posts on social media so I did,he told me that I was creepy, and later said I cared too much.

I feel like he doesn't love me for me. We argue alot and apparently it's because stuff I do. He doesn't trust me so he has my password to everything but I don't have anything of his..should I end it or keep trying.

Elder Response

From what you have written, you are not as happy in this relationship as you would like to be. All relationships have some ups and downs, but in the end you want to feel, and you should feel, that you are loved. If you are constantly wondering if he is losing interest or you think you have to change who you are in order to keep him, this is a red flag that the relationship may not be the right one for you.

Another concern that I can see is that it appears that he is showing signs of trying to control you. He wants to dictate when you chat with your friends, whether you like his posts, and your arguments are about things you do that he does not like. The fact that he has all your passwords without sharing his is another strong indicator that he wants to have all the power in your relationship.

In my opinion, you would be much happier with someone who likes you just the way you are, who has the same ideas about how much you communicate with each other, and who trusts you enough not to demand your password.

The longer you spend in the wrong relationship trying to make it work, the more normal it starts to seem. It also keeps you from being available to find the right person. If you are not truly happy in this relationship, and it doesn't seem like you are, then it would be best to end it and move on. 

You deserve to be with someone who is happy to hear from you, who is proud when you like his posts and who isn't trying to change your behavior.

I hope this was helpful, Sam. Please feel free to write to us again.

Best Regards,

Patsy


    

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