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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Why Did He Leave Me? How Do I Get Him Back?
Letter #: 400783
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me 5 months ago, and now he has another girlfriend who just cheated on him with her ex and within a day they got back together and she's the total opposite of me, she doesn't even satisfy his sexual needs and he never gave me the real reason why he was leaving me, he only gives me different excuses every time I ask.

I love him and want to get him back but i don't know how, I panicked and made all of the mistakes but I want to know the chances, I want to know why he left me, I want to know the real reason why he doesn't want me back and I want to know how I could fix our relationship and want him to beg for me back, can you help me?

Elder Response

I think it is a terrible personality flaw for someone to break up without discussing the reasons. In a good relationship, people discuss their problems and try to work them out. There are always problems, even in the best relationship. It seems to me that you are so much better off not to continue with someone who will not take the time and effort to tell you what made him unhappy. Imagine going through life never knowing if your partner were angry or wanting to leave. It would be dreadful.

That being said, he now has picked someone else. In addition, no matter how wrong she may be for him, he would have to be the one to realize it. Your pointing things out will be worthless because he will distrust your motivation.

Please, Tatiana, don't take the blame for the breakup. It may be nothing you did -- and therefore there is nothing you can do to change things. He wanted to find someone else -- for whatever reason. Accept reality. It takes two to make a relationship work. You cannot fix it on your own, and he is not willing. Please, drop all contact with him and move on. Say and believe the Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

There are so many men out there; find one who appreciates you and treats you well. You deserve it.

Best Regards,



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