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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

FAMILY: Being honest with strict parents
Letter #: 402446
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Ok so I come from a very overly protective parent who when she was young she wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend. And now that I'm growing up I have this feeling for someone for 3 years now and I'm not even allowed to like go out with friends nor see him so that's why he wants to open up and tell my mother about us! But I keep freaking out because I feel like she will not approve and that I will get in trouble and all of this will turn out into a disaster! And i don't know what to do anymore honestly! I love him and he loves me but in the situation I'm in i don't know what to do! Please help!

Elder Response

It is natural, Kimberly, for a mother to try to protect her daughter, especially if she was raised by strict parents. Although things have changed, it is still true that when you are young, you are still somewhat naive and vulnerable. The key questions are your age, and the age of the guy you like.

If you are under the age of sixteen or seventeen,then I think you need to give this relationship time. If your guy friend is several years older, then I caution you to wait, also. 

Keep in mind that young love does not always last. Hormones play a big part in the initial attraction. As we get older, and format our goals, values and interests, we all change. Who you are at twenty is not who you are at sixteen.

However, if the age gap is not significant, and you feel you both are mature enough for a relationship, then let him plead his case to your mother. Hopefully, you have proven your trustworthiness to your mother, and that she knows you have good judgment.

Hopefully, things will work out for both of you.

I wish you the best.

Best Regards,



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