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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Go with new guy or get back with ex?
Letter #: 403557
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

okay so, my ex wants me back. we dated for a month then be left me because he loved someone else. we had a great relationship. but now he wants me. the problem is he can't ever text or hang out. and there's another guy i like a lot and he likes me too and he can text me and hang out. so who should i pick?

Elder Response

The thing about choosing romantic partners, Caitlin, is that no one can really tell us who. We must decide that for ourselves, based on several factors. The main one is a real connection communication-wise. And that's where I think your decision of who will be an easy one for you.

Your ex doesn't "ever text or hang out". That shows an almost complete lack of communication, right? The other guy, however, does text you and he hangs out with you. So, doesn't he sound like the one? Again, though, I can't tell you as a certainty. Plus, there are other things to consider, such as the way he treats you when he's with you -- showing respect and consideration. Is he a nice guy?

One more thing: An ex is an ex for a reason. In your case, your ex loved someone else so he left you. To my way of thinking, that shows a lack of respect for you and it shows that he didn't consider your relationship with him to be special. You say you had a great relationship, but it was only for a month and then there's the part where he left you.

Caitlin, I hope I've given you a few things to think about as you make your decision. I wish you luck in taking all things into consideration and be sure you think of your best interest in all of this. Take good care of yourself.

Best Regards,



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