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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Feeling Shy with New Boyfriend
Letter #: 405888
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Today is the second day that me and my boyfriend have been dating and yeah it's been going quite well,but sometimes when we talk there are moments when we both get shy and moments that we have nothing to talk about.Also when he's with his friend I think that he's expecting me to come up to him and start talking this might sound a little bit stupid but sometimes I just get too shy and I start getting nervous because I don't know what will happen if I go up to him.I would like to know what to think before I approach me to calm myself down and how I should be acting to be the girlfriend he deserves because I don't want him to think that I'm scared to talk to him and that I'm avoiding it as well.In our relationship I would like us to get to know each other better and I just want to be the best girlfriend for him.But if I don't have the confidence to even talk to him and that most of the time I get nervous and shy I don't see that our relationship could last if I don't try to be confident and to be calm when I'm around him what can I do about this? Best regards, Andrea

Elder Response

~~First, don’t feel that you have to fill every minute with conversation.  It is OK to have moments with nothing to talk about and you can
Use that time to enjoy your environment or just view nature. 
As far as being nervous to approach your boyfriend when he is with his friends, I think it will become more comfortable if you get to know his friends.  Just
Go up to your boyfriend and say, Hi, how about you introduce me to your friends?  The more you talk to them, the more comfortable you will feel.
 Nothing bad will happen if you go up to your boyfriend and his friends, as he will have your back and not let anyone hurt you. What you should think about is
The fact that your boyfriend chose you out of all the girls he could choose from, so he is attracted to you and likes you the way you are. Tell yourself
That you are lucky to have a boyfriend and think about how it will please him to show you off to his friends.
The more you talk to your boyfriend and get to know him, the less shy you will feel.  Just ask him questions such as, do you have any hobbies or interests, what do you like to do in your spare time, have you thought about what career you would like to have, have you ever traveled out of the state, what is your favorite type of food, do you like movies, books, plays, what is your favorite subject, do you like to hike, bike, bowl, dance, do karaoke, do any sports, etc. etc. The more you ask him about himself, the more you will find you two have in common.

Best Regards,

Grandpa-Bill


    

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