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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

FAMILY: Unknown identity disaster
Letter #: 408783
Category: Family

Original Letter

I'm not sure what to do as last week I went to a fancy dress party and hooked up with a girl whilst I was there. Sounds simple, which it was, and as we just wanted a bit of fun we kept our masks on so it was completely anonymous. It was great at the time, but today I went looking for my corset and whilst looking in my step-sister's wardrobe found a fancy dress costume and it wasn't just similar to the one worn by the girl I hooked up with - it was exactly the same. I asked her if she'd been to any parties recently and she confided in me that she'd hooked up and had great sex with someone and then described me, I freaked a bit and as I went to get a glass of water she spotted my tattoo and then it clicked for her that it was me she had sex with. I really don't know what to do about it. On one hand she's been my step-sister for 5 years since we were 13 and on the other we're only sisters because our parents are married and even at 18 we sometimes share a bed and watch movies at night together. Help.

Elder Response

Poppy, your party experience sounds like perfect raw material for the plot of a short story or novel. Please don't think I am making fun of what happened; I'm merely pointing out that truth is often stranger than fiction. I also recall a movie I once saw that was nearly identical to your happening.

There are several possible ins and outs here. Is it possible your step-sister followed you to the party and came on to you when she had the opportunity? If this was the case, you need to figure out how to discuss with her what transpired between you that night. Or she might approach you. It doesn't sound like this experience happened  by means of serendipity...but it could have.

Or you could just go on with your life and act like the sexual adventure with her was just a past event, something to deliberately overlook. Many things are purely meant as learning experiences and nothing more.

I would not want to be in your shoes. The decision you make could alter your life and hers. Remember that this is real life, not a novel to read or a flick to watch. Mistakes are not always easy to remedy, and sometimes they can't be remedied.

One last word of advice. Take this seriously. To approach it in a comical fashion would not do it justice. It's a good thing you two are old enough to act maturely.

Fare thee well, Poppy. 


Best Regards,



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