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Recent Letter to the ElderWisdomCircle™

DATING/RELATIONSHIP: Getting over a crush
Letter #: 409745
Category: Dating/Relationship

Original Letter

Hi, I am a guy in college who has a crush on the girl I met over the summer about two years ago. Normally I don't really let crushes bother me, but this one has been a problem for a long time. I don't know why this is the case. I've been crushing on this girl since summer of 2016. It gets so bad that I stare at pictures of her and daydream about her too often. Not to mention the huge amount of actual dreams I have about her as well. All of this is really weird and not normal. She already has a boyfriend and I don't actively talk to her or pursue her, so I find it strange that she is still on my mind all the time. My friends say that I'm obsessed with her and I agree. I eventually blocked her on Facebook and deleted her number about two weeks ago. I thought that would help some, but it still hasn't stopped my feelings. What should I do?

Elder Response

I agree with your friends, Tony. This appears to be an obsession, and it doesn't seem normal.

Sometimes we project our vision of the perfect person onto the individual we like, so that truth and fantasy combine. Since she has a boyfriend, you really can't pursue her. Actually, it seems unhealthy for you.

The best thing I can suggest is to get yourself  totally involved in other activities: sports, school activities,  volunteer work, etc. - you name it.  Spend time with your friends. Look at productive activities: planning for your future, spending quality time with family, maybe a part-time job.

You can get over her. Remember, you may have put her on some kind of pedestal. 

We all have our hangups. Once you realize that there is no future in it, you'll be able to move on.

I wish you the best.

Best Regards,

M-Sharon


    

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